All alone

Sometimes, when I am all alone, all I can do is cry. I get so overwhelmed and it just all really hits me... I am all alone. ALL alone. Alone all the time. No more Ace. He's gone. He's with this gorgeous mother of 3 only a few months after we ended things, and I'm still completely devastated. I can't get past the fact that he did this to me. ME. How could he just turn off his emotions like that? I just don't get it. How could have told me he loved me for so long if he never meant it? And I was so in love with him. SO in love. I had it. I had my life that I wanted. I had Ace. I went to sleep with him holding me in his arms every night, waking up to his kisses (and sometimes more) every morning. I got so happy every day around the time he came home from work. Every time he looked at me... EVERY SINGLE TIME... my heart skipped a beat. And when he touched me, and when he made love to me, and when he ran his hands over my body, I went to another place. It was magical. It was perfection. It was heaven. And now it is all gone. I can't get him out of my head. I can't get past this. I can't stop missing him, missing him wanting me. I feel lost. Nobody else wants me. Nobody ever will. Why would they? When there are women out there who are so much more perfect, so much skinnier, with perkier breasts. Why would anyone ever want me? I'm going to be alone. I'm never going to have children. I'm never going to have what I want, what others get. I'm never going to have his child or get the place he told me to start looking for with him. Why can other people move on? Why can't I? Why am I so screwed up???? I'm so sad, and alone, and I feel like there is nobody in the world who cares. Not really, anyway. God, I hate being alone.