So here is what happened. I was so stupid. Ace called me one night and said do you want to come over. I missed him so I went. Then I went there and we wound up making love and then, afterward he said I want to show you something... and turned on his computer and showed me a naked picture of this girl... lets call her Jenna... the girl was super skinny and had the body of a stripper (the opposite of me), and she was posing with high heeled knee high white boots on, and he said "what do you think of her?" I got uncomfortable and said um, I think she's skinny, why are you showing me this right now? He said "because she asked me to spend the weekend with her, and I think I am going to get involved with her and start seeing her." I started to cry and left.
Then, I was stupid again because I missed him and I was so lonely, and I fell for it again, he called, said he missed me and wanted to see me. So I went there, and when I got there he was on the phone with her. Told me to be silent and not to leave. So I stayed just because I was so hurt and so mad that I wanted to give him a piece of my mind for being that rude and inconsiderate (his house, the one I used to live in with him, is almost 40 minutes from me)... and he was on the phone for an hour. I got fed up waiting to tell him off and was going to leave so I slipped a note under the door (he had gone upstairs with the phone and told me to play on the computer but please not to leave...) saying I was leaving. I threw something at the door so he'd hear it and see the note. I was turning around to leave and he came down yelling at me "how dare you be so selfish, how dare you throw something at the door like a child, You have some nerve, if you want to see me then you will F***ing wait until I am f***ing done with what I am doing." He was screaming, shaking, so mad it scared me. Thanks to growing up in an abusive household screaming man = I cower and placate and give in... so thats what I did, I wound up apologizing to HIM. How sick is that????
I know, at this point you are probably saying I bring it on myself. I never should have gone there. Trust me, I am aware of that.
Fast forward a bit. He has called me a few times, kept talking about his new girl, Jenna, about how she's great because she's bisexual which means SHE will actually have a threesome like I never did... shit like that... and I really didnt want to hear anything about her, you know? SoI'd get upset. Then he yelled at me that I wasnt being a friend, and how could I turn my back on HIM like that, how DARE I. So he kept calling. At one point he said he wanted to see her and see me.
The Incident Leading Up To The Final Nail In The Ace Coffin:
Then, last week, he called me when I was in the store and I answered my cell without looking to see who it was, and sure enough it was him. He said he had called to say I probably would never see him again because he is seeing her and doesnt want to hurt her. He doesnt want to hurt HER????????????? Really?????????? After everything that happened between us, that hurt so much to hear, and he had to know how much that would hurt me. So I told him noone had ever hurt me like he had, over and over, and lied to me, and he didnt even care. I told him I would never be able to forgive him for how much he's hurt me & for doing it all over again (remeber, he got married to someone else and called me the morning of his wedding, crying, saying he still loved me & begging me to promise he'd still speak to me after because he had to do it...) and told him to go F*** himself and hung up the phone. (so THATS what happens when you grow a spine). He called back and yelled, said that was F***ing rude, how dare I hang up on him, Thats fucked up, no wonder I've lost friends, Im not being a friend to him because I can't sit and listen to him talk about his new girlfriend. What did I do? He was yelling, so of course I said You're right, I'm sorry. We hung up. My crying began. Left the cart full of groceries where it was and kept my head down and walked out of the store, embarrassed to be crying in public. Got in the car. Began to sob. Full, wracking sobs. Didn't want to even live at that point the whole thing got to me so much. So I called up... lets call him Giovanni (names have been changed to protect the ... innocent?... remember...), my best friend and Ace's step brother, so upset and crying so hard he could barely understand me. Told him I couldn't be alone and couldn't deal with sitting alone in my apt (took like 4 tries because he couldnt understand me because I was crying too hard). So he said come over. So I went to his house told him what Ace had said. He (not a big Ace fan, even though they are step brothers) said "why do you keep picking up?" I told him I hadnt looked the first time to see who it was and then I picked up the 2nd time after cursing at him because I was so amazed that he was calling back. He said I dont deserve this crap from Ace, and that Ace is a Sociopath who is obviously getting off on my pain and on hurting me. It rang true. He changed Ace's ringtone on my phone from default (I'd deleted Ace's custom ringtone so if he called my heard wouldnt pound) to Giovanni's own voice yelling "do not pick up the phone, If you pick up the phone, I'm gonna killllll you!!!!!" Which made me laugh. Then, just when I started to calm down and stop crying guess what happened. Billy tried to call. And I didnt pick up. so he called again. I didnt pick up but I started to cry. When I got home I blocked him again on Facebook, which I knew would upset him because of how he'd yelled at me so much the last time I tried to block him that I had un-blocked him and promised never to block him again just to get him to stop being mean.
Fast forward a few hours to early the next morning. Gio (lets shorten his fake name, its easier that way) needed a ride to work so I drove him at 6 in the friekin morning. I dropped him off, went home, went to sleep. Later went back and picked him up. When I picked him up he told me he had called Ace and told him to leave me alone. This made me happy and upset all at once. I had subconsciously been trying to placate Ace I guess, and I was worried about how he'd react, but Gio said he (Ace) had said he wouldnt call me again. So me and Gio went to a Tattoo shop so Gio could talk to his tattoo artist, and sure enough, guess what happened? From out of my jacket pocket came Gio's voice, yelling "do not pick up the phone! If you pick up the phone I will Killllll you!!!!!" I got upset. Gio wanted to answer the phone and tell Ace off but I said no, don't. So Ace left a message. He said I was a pathological liar, and thats why he could never be my friend, and to go Fu** myself. Of course, this made me cry. I figured he'd seen I had blocked him. And I am sure he was furious that Gio had told him to leave me alone, which meant I had told someone what he was saying and doing to my head.
Well, that call was the straw that broke the camel's back, the final nail in the coffin that was mine and Ace's relationship (romantic or otherwise) I guess. I called my mom right then and there and asked her to have my number changed (the phone is in her name) and she said no, why couldnt I just not answer and ignore his calls. I said I do but just the fact that he is calling alone is too much for me emotionally, and hard for me to handle. So finally, with Gio's help, she agreed to definitely block him and think about changing the number. So Ace is at least blocked from calling my phone now. And if he calls from another number I will just have my number changed, and my mom agreed that if he did that then she actually would have them change the number. It is so sad that it came to this. I am hurt and emotionally scarred but at the same time feel like a weight has been lifted. I dont have to lie to anyone anymore (he used to tell me I couldn't tell anyone what went on between us, like especially if we fought and he was mean, god forbid I told my friends the things he had said to me or that I actually got scared once that he was going to come after me physically).... still sad but its healthier for me, for my sanity.
On a happier note, I think I met someone. Let's call him Mick. He's really nice, and sweet, and he took me to dinner and he was a gentleman and he didnt stare at the waitresses he looked at me the entire time then we watched a movie and leaned against eachother on the couch and then when it was over and he had to go he kissed me goodbye and it was sooo nice (great kisser!). We made plans to have date # 2 very soon. I am excited.
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